tomorrrow will bring something better.......

my angel "princess faye"


i dont know if its out of fear,then again, i could be looking for something that doesnt exist. or even worse and worse.day by day.i use to cry,being paranoid sometimes.making something out of nothing.so out of fear, i tried as much as possible to surround myself with people.i tried to join with anyone and everyone. but for some reason. i could be surround by a crowd of people and still, myself for a bit has been helping a little.. i want to worry about no one. to focus on myself is now my priority.even he left me with my angel,
3 months ago, i couldnt see anything in my future.. i had no plans. i basically refused to live i
wasnt sure i deserved all this happenings in my life, life suck!, and yet i forced myself to keep breathing. not for me, but for my little angel.i couldnt bring myself to be selfish enough to hurt her., of every single day. it felt like torture. it was torture. i was desperately seeking an escape of those feelings. but thoughts, words, actions, memories, and feelings of hatred, anger, jealousy and so much more were jumbled in my head until i couldnt take it anymore. i gave up the will to fight. i suffocated and drowned into a deep depression, well hidden by these fake smiles.
…i am not fully recovered, but i have to admit i am better than i was 3 months ago. i may not be a whole lot better and i may not have progressed as much as i should have.. id still like to look at it as a job well done.. for now.im so happy when my cutie angel came to me.!and now I think I deserve to be happy ., but i expect so much more from myself. even though at that time, i was absolutely sure that it would never get better.. that it would always hurt as much as it did.. i proved myself wrong (and others right, of course). when others told me that it’ll get better, i refuse to believe it. i said ill believe it when i see it.
…now i see that maybe i am stronger than i thought. maybe it is possible for me to get through this. when at times it seems like darkness goes on forever,. even just for a moment, i know it exists.. and there always a hope hope, and with hope gives me strength and will to keep moving forward to that light.. to something better. yes, every single day is a struggle, but by tomorrow, this day will just be the day that i go through yesterday.^_6